--- title: Your Children and Divorce - Keeping Separation Amicable description: Divorce or a separation is hard enough. You and your family will be under a lot of stress and experiencing a whole range of emotions, as a separation means permanent changes in the family dynamic. There is, however, a way to ensure the process is as amicable as possible. image: https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/hubfs/HeaderLP.jpg --- - [Home](https://www.eastcoastlaw.com.au/) - [Family Law](https://www.eastcoastlaw.com.au/family-law/) - [Conveyancing](https://www.eastcoastlaw.com.au/conveyancing/) - [Business Law](https://www.eastcoastlaw.com.au/business-law/) - [Contact Us](https://www.eastcoastlaw.com.au/contact-us/) [Conveyancing](https://pages.eastcoastlaw.com.au/living) ### A blog for easier living Life was meant to be easy Today's world throws us many curveballs. Join us for tips & life hacks that straighten the curves & help you enjoy the ride. Sign up   [Living Blog Home](https://pages.eastcoastlaw.com.au/living) [Family Law](https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/living-blog/tag/family-law) [Conveyancing](https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/living-blog/tag/conveyancing) [Featured](https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/living-blog/tag/featured) [Business](https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/living-blog/tag/business) # Your Children and Divorce - Keeping Separation Amicable Mar 29, 2018 11:43:09 AM ![HeaderLP](https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/hubfs/HeaderLP.jpg) **Divorce can be amicable with the right help on your side. ** Divorce is hard enough without it becoming a costly, lengthy process. You and your family will be under a lot of stress and experiencing a whole range of emotions, as separation means permanent changes in the family dynamic. There is, however, a way to ensure the process is as amicable as possible.  **Communicate ** The first thing to do is ensure you talk things through with your partner, if this is possible. You want to agree that you'll listen to each other and act in the way which is best for the family as a whole. Blaming each other won't help now. It's time to be constructive.  Children and divorce raises difficulties with childcare, maintenance, and custody. It's best if you can communicate with each other while keeping your children's interests in mind. **If you are frightened of your partner, and are worried about violence or abusive behaviour towards you or your children, you should seek legal advice as soon as possible.** **Collaborate![Separation and children: collaborate](https://blog.eastcoastlaw.com.au/hs-fs/hubfs/Communicate.jpg?width=300&height=366&name=Communicate.jpg)** Inevitably, you and your partner will have different views on fundamental issues, such as finances and parenting arrangements. Aside from simply communicating with each other, you have to actively listen and work together to find agreement. If you want to protect your children from this divorce and any messy consequences, try to collaborate on at least some issues. Find solutions where possible. Narrow everything down so you can see where any real disagreements lie. It is always encouraged to actively seek communication and collaboration.  **Plan** Once you and your partner have agreed on at least some things, you can see how many disagreements remain, and what they involve. These disagreements commonly involve large assets such as homes, shares and pensions, inheritance, and childcare arrangements. What and how much you're at odds over can help you plan how to move the process forward.  **Mediation** A structured, mediated discussion can really help keep maters constructive and focused. Having an independent party in the room while you go over matters will keep you both focused on your own end goals, but the experienced mediator will keep the conversation neutral. Solicitors can also help with these kinds of discussions, making them as formal or as informal as you need. If there are real disagreements and sticking points which just can’t be resolved by discussion, you can always turn to more adversarial means later in the process. But, it’s best for both parties if you’re receptive to negotiation. **Solicitors and formal proceedings** Parting doesn't need to be ugly when working with solicitors you can trust.  Solicitors will help you solve problems and offer sound, impartial advice. They can commence court proceedings for you, if these become necessary, but they can also simply give you sage guidance through the process.  Settling matters in a non-confrontational way is often more effective than costly and lengthy litigation - which is healthier for you and your family in the long term.  **Want to learn more? Download the free ebook, "Separation and Divorce: Putting your Children First"** **[![New Call-to-action](https://hubspot-no-cache-ap1-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/cta/default/4143762/efb9db40-398c-48e9-a80a-0ef03d26a7bd.png)](https://hubspot-cta-redirect-ap1-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/cta/redirect/4143762/efb9db40-398c-48e9-a80a-0ef03d26a7bd)** **Disclaimer** This article is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide or act as a substitute for legal advice. You should seek personal legal advice before acting on any of the information above. 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